My father is a man who is compassionate and knows how important family is. I've always taken joy in pleasing him, being his "baby" and "pumpkin". I remember following him around the garage watching him work wood into beautiful cabinets or displays and find it so fascinating how he could create with his hands.
My dad and I snuggled in his chair (recliner) A LOT. That was until we both couldn't fit in it at the same time. He has a signature smell. Jovan Musk... He's worn it for years. Maybe because he received so many bottles on every occasion imaginable. I remember crawling into my parents' bed on the weekends and cuddling with him and smelling him on the pillow when he wasn't there. Once an older teacher I worked with wore that cologne and it instantly made me smile.
I never wanted today to happen. Today I got the call that the Dr. wanted to talk to Dad about the results of his biopsy. I drove to Richland and met my parents there. I wanted to be there. I had to. What we heard in that office was the worst thing we could have imagined. My dad has a brain tumor called a gleeoma that is not curable. There's options to prolong life, but no cure. He has matter of months if he refuses surgery and radiation and chemo. If he goes through the surgery and treatments maybe a year to 3 years survival chance.
It broke me.
Why now?
I'm trying to make sense of the heartache. I know there's lots to learn and God never promised this life would be easy. All I can think is I've only a short time to cherish with him. I'm drained as I sit here typing. I feel like a shell. I can't even imagine what my mom is going through. My dad is saying he's going to fight this and go through the surgery and treatments. I'm so glad he's made that choice.
I've been told we should live each day like there's no tomorrow but I'm guilty of thinking lots of tomorrows are going to come. Then this happens and it sure makes your head spin.
I don't want this to be a pity party for Crystal. It's just something I've been dealing with for a few weeks and today was the day when it all became real. I'm not really good at sharing these types of things but I know I have a great circle of support in my friends. I appreciated all the cards, emails, comments, texts, calls and prayers. Please keep praying for my dad's upcoming procedures and treatments. I know this has hit him hard. Of course it would.
The Dr. wants to do the surgery this month. I think he said around the 16th. I'll keep you posted.
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